Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
