if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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