All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
