I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
