made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
