what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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