I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
