I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
