smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
