So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
