so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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