I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I checked into jail on foursquare
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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