Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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