my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
