Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
