i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
