8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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