I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
