With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
