yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
