I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
