I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
