"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
