when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
