her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
