You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
