That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We need a shit load of segways right now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How naked do you want me to be?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
