Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
