i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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