It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
