Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
