According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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