Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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