last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
