i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
