You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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