i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize