there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
