If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
