honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
