Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
