I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
