If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
