Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
