One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
