When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
