You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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