Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
