You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Welp...herpes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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