Where is the hickey?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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