I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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